


feeling all my fucking feelings

by ShipperTrash140109



Category: Dunkirk (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Edgeplay, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Peter's Brother's Name is Alexander, Pillow Talk, but its pretty weak bc alex has no game, i find that very funny, what else can i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:47:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22727119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperTrash140109/pseuds/ShipperTrash140109
Summary: Peter had only known him as the man with the deep voice and the long dark hair and the tattoos and had only ever seen him from behind.
Relationships: Alex/Peter Dawson (Dunkirk), Brief Alex/Peter Dawson's Brother
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	feeling all my fucking feelings

**Author's Note:**

> before nobody asks- yes, i'm still on my peterxalex kick and im having a great time. this is a bizarre concept but literally the first line of this fic wouldn't leave me alone so i had to make something of it.  
> title is from 'in my feelings' by lana del ray

Peter had only known him as the man with the deep voice and the long dark hair and the tattoos and had only ever seen him from behind.

He was the man that had been staying with Peter’s brother long before Peter had shown up to stay temporarily at the flat. Peter had seen him washing dishes, long hair covering his face in the reflection of the window above the sink, that same hair had covered him whilst he slept on the couch, phone tucked under his cheek like he’d been using it seconds before passing out. He’d seen the man leaving in the mornings, hair slowly slipping from the bun hanging messily off the back of his head, black ink covering the hand that closed the door behind him. Peter had once seen him slotted between his brothers legs, hair covering both men’s faces like a curtain, though Peter hadn’t needed to see it to know their mouths were joined, he’d watched a hand slide up the man’s back, hiking a plain black shirt with it as it goes and revealing golden skin before he’d stumbled away from the sight. Almost like the universe hated him, Peter had seen that same long-haired man in his brother’s lap on the couch, legs either side of the older Dawson brother’s hips, his hands carding through long strands of dark hair and in the seconds before Peter retreated to his room he’d seen the profile of a man he’d lived alongside for months but had never truly met.

**

Alex had found it rather hilarious that he’d fallen for a man named Alexander- never Alex- just as Alex was Alex, never Alexander, though that had never stopped him from calling the blond Xander just to see his jaw clench and those pretty blue eyes roll. They’d met in a bland lecture hall, and as far as Alex had been concerned, Alexander Dawson was the most colourful aspect of the whole bloody building, he hadn’t needed to think for a moment before asking, and then begging, that Alexander go out with him. Hesitant at first or not, they very quickly found themselves very much caught up in each other.

They were quite the duo, he supposed, like honey and vinegar, sweet and sour. Alexander was a nice bastard to boot and Alex could never quite put the bite in his words like he wanted to, never could quite find Alexander’s relentless encouragement to ‘face your shit’ tiring enough to leave, tiring enough to bare his teeth and bite. Alexander made Alex feel like less of a prick and Alex was pretty enough for Alexander to stick around, to deal with his bullshit.

Alexander’s brother had moved to stay with them for a while, and Alex had thought maybe it would be the end of their little oasis where Alex could act like less of a prick and Alexander could act less like the golden hero of every story. But at the end of the day that golden hero still told Alex to shut his mouth, grabbed a fistful of dark hair and fucked him into the mattress until all of Alex’s _bite,_ all of his _venom_ dripped from him like the sweat that slid down his back.

It was most peaceful then- in the moments afterwards, pressed against Alexander’s chest and listening to his heart, soft fingers tracing the dark lines of ink along his arms, existing in each other’s space. Perhaps if they’d had more of that they might’ve lasted. Alexander might not have thrown in the towel and called it quits a week before he jetted off overseas for study. Alex had never really truly decided if he’d been heartbroken or not over it

**

The man with long hair had left, and then Alexander left too. Peter knew the two weren’t connected but he couldn’t help but think about it- they’d seemed fine, cohabitating the same flat that Peter stayed in with pleasant comradery, and then it was gone.

His brother had been gone for almost four months when Peter text him- text Alex, the man with long hair and tattoos and a deep voice- on the number his brother had given him months ago in case Peter was ever locked out of the flat. He asked him out for lunch, Alex had said no, asked Peter out to watch a film that had been labelled a disaster by all that watched it, how could Peter have said no?

He’d cut his hair, a fact that shocked the young blond enough to have him squinting through the darkness at Alex throughout the whole film, he’d never truly gotten a good look at him except for the photos- now deleted- that Alexander had posted online with him, but he was stunning, maybe if Alexander had stuck around a bit longer he’d have stayed, if he’d seen his ex like this would he regret his choices? Peter respected and trusted his brother, but it had seemed like a foolish choice.

Alex was prickly- he was a prat and he was weird, and he was utterly unforgettable. He called Peter Pete and it drove him crazy but he couldn’t bring himself to hate it completely, not when Alex moaned it so prettily when the blond sucked him off in the back of Alex’s car after hours spent at a local show, Alex’s hands were sticky with fairy floss when he dragged them through Peter’s hair and to hear the man speaking something other than shit made Peter feeling giddy, to hear him so desperate and feel him wriggling so uncontrollably until he came, his groans of ecstasy the only thing louder than the fireworks in the small space of the car.

Alex found it easy around Peter; found everything easy around him- talking, breathing, existing. Peter could take as good as he could give, he was a twat in his own right; whiny and bitchy and endlessly sure of himself, he’d help Alex out of a stitch without hesitance and then chew him out afterwards while treating his wounds. They got along like a house on fire.

He loved him, couldn’t stop himself in the end for falling for another pretty blonde with bright blue eyes and a square jaw and soft lips. It had seemed he’d developed a type, Alex wasn’t one for romantics, but he was pretty sure he’d stop evading his taxes if Peter told him to.

**

As much as Alex tried not to think about it- Peter was completely different in bed to his brother, from the adamant refusal to be anything other than the receiver to how he never shut his bloody mouth. It was a comparison that made him sigh at himself but one he couldn’t help but make anyway. Peter was a whole ‘nother beast and it drove Alex positively crazy.

“C’mon Alex, harder!” it felt like he’d only had his cock in for five seconds before Peter had started up. Alex had known that he’d hate letting Peter lay on his back for exactly this reason, but had he listened and flipped him so he could shove that stupid pretty face into the mattress? No, of course he hadn’t. idiot.

“Give me a fucking second, Christ” he hissed under his breath, shuffling on his knees, his hands ran down to Peter’s calves, hiking them up over his shoulders, fingers digging into the soft flesh of Peter’s thigh, he started up a rhythm then, letting his eyes fall closed, forehead twitching as he focused on nothing but the tight heat around him, and then the toe curling clench as he leant forward, Peter bending under him until Alex’s cock rammed into a place inside the blond that had him shouting out. “That hard enough for ya darlin’?” he sighed, letting a pleased huff fall from his lips as he hit it again, and was once again rewarded by the tighten of Peter around him.

“You’ve done better- fuck me like you hate me ‘darling’” Peter could barely talk without making one garbled noise of enjoyment or another, but he still managed to remain the biggest twat Alex had met- other than himself of course.

“Won’t be difficult, you’re starting to annoy me” Alex growled, and pressed his fingers into the skin of Peter’s legs, just above the backs of his knees where Alex held him in place. He felt the dull bite of Peter’s nails against his skin for a moment, punctuated by a pained groan from the blond at the dig of the brunet’s fingers, his arms flailed for a moment after that, before getting themselves well and truly tangled into the bedsheets.

Alex never particularly liked the sound skin made when it slapped together during a fuck, but he had to admit, having it paired with the sight of Peter’s face contorted in pleasure and the sound of him moaning until his voice gives in added a certain charm to the horrendous skin-on-skin noises.

Peter never lasted long- especially not when Alex was getting so good at nailing him in his sweet spot, when the younger man’s legs started quivering against Alex’s collarbones, his mouth hanging open and chest filling with held breaths, Alex released his hold. He’d press his mouth to Peter’s and slow the harsh movements of his hips to an almost crawl. Peter’s fingers would claw at his dark hair then and strike lines up Alex’s back with his nails and dig his heels into the dimples above the other man’s arse. He’d beg against lips and tongue and keep his hands off his desperate cock like a good boy.

“Think you deserve it, Bunny? You’ve been a bit of a prick to me today” Alex whispered against his mouth, licking along Peter’s thick bottom lip, he could barely force the prayers out anymore, eyes squeezed together hard, his hips grinding up against the taut planes of Alex’s stomach for any friction he could get. Alex moved in slow circles, hips ground against Peter’s, the tip of his cock brushing the spot that gave the blond so much grief at that moment.

“I-I” he stammered, Alex could feel a heel slide down and back up the underside of his thigh, trying to pull him closer, trying to get anything. “Please, Alex” it was rare he’d say sorry, even when he was on the verge of tears and needed to cum so bad that he ached, he’d refuse to give in in that respect. _Alexander used to give in._

Alex could feel his own orgasm, heavy and foreboding inside him, filling his hips with pressure that dwindled on the side of unbearable as he ground down into Peter. “You not going to say sorry?” he asked, and he could feel Peter’s skin twitch as he pushed a hand between them, fingertips dragging down the centre of his chest, making their way down his stomach, along the coarse hairs trailing from his bellybutton until he could wrap a loose hand around the other man’s throbbing cock, it was hot and stiff in his grasp and every movement made it twitch and leak and earnt him a shaky whine from the blond. “C’mon Pete” he breathed, mouth against Peter’s ear and the words were more air than voice and Peter practically choked on a sob.

“You’re a… bastard” Peter groaned, a hand had slipped down to harshly squeeze at one of Alex’s arsecheeks and the harshness of it made his hips jerk forward away from the sharp pain, which in hindsight would’ve made Peter’s predicament only worse.

“So’re you, mate” Alex grumbled, he couldn’t bear it, and as much as it hurt to let that smug bugger win, it would hurt even more to continue his little attempt at a power trip, he sealed his mouth to Peter’s, swallowing the other man’s ragged noises of relief as Alex started up again with the desperate slam of his hips- his hand would’ve jerked Peter off in time with said thrusts if there’d been any rhythm to them, not that Peter seemed to care- if the way his body froze up and shook with the ferocity of his orgasm was any indication. Alex let his mouth fall open against Peter’s as he fucked into the tightening heat of the blond those last few times until it was too much, and his own climax hit him like a brick wall, despite losing, as his orgasm washed over him, he felt like nothing but a winner.

**

“Why’d you cut your hair?” Alex had been just about asleep when the soft voice of the blond resting against his chest broke the silence of the room, a room that had been filled with the sound of a vigorous fuck just an hour before.

He hummed blearily, blinking his eyes open and lifting his head a moment before letting it drop back against his pillow, “Reminded me too much of an ex” he explained, voice scratchy and rough, borne from use and having been on the verge of sleep moments prior.

“My brother.”

“Yeah- that and I felt like a change… why? You want me to grow it back?” he stared up at the ceiling, letting a hand slide softly up the curve of Peter’s back until he could rest it against the man’s shoulder.

Peter chuckled, shaking his head minutely “no way- couldn’t see your face because of that damned mop, wasted too much time wondering if you were worth looking at or not” he sucked in a long breath after he spoke, and when he breathed it back out, Alex could feel the cool air skate across his chest.

“Am I? Worth looking at?”

“Jury’s still out” it when quiet after that, nothing but their breathing to fill the silence. Until Peter made a quiet noise in the back of his throat, shifting briefly as if he was making himself uncomfortable. Alex furrowed his brow at the movements, stroked a hand up through blond hair, a silent ‘are you okay’ that was met with a sigh. “I just… sometimes I can’t… can’t help but think that you’re only with me because I remind you of my brother… it’s stupid but… y’know” Peter trailed off, any confidence he’d had in the statement dying in his throat.

Alex was silent for a few long moments, before he shrugged, “it is stupid- I like you because you remind me of Peter Dawson, and you are Peter Dawson and I don’t much mind him. You’re not very similar, you two. Ya look a little like him, but that’s about it, Pete. I hate to break it to myself but it’s only you.” When Alex turns his head to look at Peter, the latter is smiling to himself, and he chuckles softly before speaking.

“You have such a delightful way of making heartfelt statements sound so lowkey, y’know?”

Alex hums, pulling Peter against him, “ain’t nothing crazy about me lovin’ you, knew I would since the moment you agreed to watch _Cats_ in the cinema with me on our first date, now _that’s_ a sure-fire way to find a good one.”

Peter’s quiet after that, his leg bumping against Alex’s under the covers before it hooks over both of them, the blond’s toes bumping where Alex knows there’s an inky scrawl against the top of his ankle. Peter laughs and Alex swallows thickly at the warm feeling that arises in his chest, “in the unlikely event that I let us break up, you wouldn’t go after my dad, would you? Seeing as you like to collect the Dawson’s.”

Alex laughs hard enough that Peter’s head bounces with the shake of his chest, “Mr Dawson? Now that’s a stud if ever I’ve seen one- you’d have to pay me to stay away from ‘im,” Alex jests, loudly exhaling afterwards as if even the mention of Peter’s father had him hot under the covers.

Peter jolted upright at that, pressing a hand over Alex’s mouth, his face had broken out into a grin, “shut your whore mouth, Alex- now I’m definitely not going to let you loose on the population.”

Alex didn’t really have a problem with that.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment, they really do make my day!!


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